Posthumously, Gwen John

the word posthumous does not mean after death from the latin— post meaning after and humus meaning the earth —it confirms that desert after this minor shock of life when the earth changes mouth for mud. i am surrounded by august men all strut all temper the world loves an open palm. one called me melopomene said the word Love love, i replied and found that iron word wrote the latch on a door flesh and stone who can tell the difference both belong to the soil what is real cannot be captured in a sitting it is a composite like the posthumous body it is always becoming. nor can it be loved from a distance. one must begin by painting the subject and carry on painting the subject until the lines are blurred: between the light and the shadow green and yellow between the skin and the air subject and paint falls the shadow. i painted the way i loved to gesture at this that whatever you paint you are painting yourself whatever you love ditto.