Killing Cockroaches

1959

Don’t know why I remember my father killinga nest of cockroaches beneath our kitchen sinkin the three-room apartment for our family of five

maybe because at ten I was afraid of cockroachesand maybe because I was not unafraid of my fatherand maybe because of the stark sight of my father

on his knees in his underwear wielding a shoelike a hammer the heel smashing cockroachesmaking smashing squishing crackling sounds

or maybe because such real-life midnight violenceloomed larger than earlier murderous noir menacevia The Untouchables on our tiny black & white TV.