The Esthetic Apostle

September 2019

How To Find Yourself

by

First, be an anthill.Observe yourself fromoutside, see yourbody with its gentleslopes, and find theentrance to yourself,find it teeming withinsects coming and going.

Second, take all yourjewelry, melt it down,your gold, your rhodium,sterling silver, all that youhave collected toadorn yourself.Put it all in the crucible.

Third, and most important,you must open your mouth.Swallow the red-hot metal,feel it travel down into you,through the little dugcorridors and dens inside,and then let it cool.

Last, you must extractthis new model, the shapeof the inside of you,and examine it, findingthe parts of you that werehidden beneath the sand,and understand what they mean.And now your secret selfis visible at last, and you canfinally understand thosewordless parts of you.

But all the ants are dead.